But first let me
take you back a bit …
To my shame, as a
child when reading, I was a skipper rather than a looker-upper, because who has
the time to pull out a dictionary for every unfamiliar word when you’re a)
immersed in a great book and b) more than capable of inventing a definition for
the word using its sound and context? But this is where I had been going wrong;
this is where mistakes are made from which one might never recover. For
example, who knew the words demotic and demonstrative had absolutely nothing to
do with demons? Who knew ‘bucolic’ was neither a disease nor a vegetable? Who
knew a ‘sibilant’ wasn’t a robotic, mutant brother?
So, in recent
times, I have treated mystery words with a little more respect, especially as
it is impossible to skip words in conversations with learned colleagues who
have never missed a dictionary call in their lives, and making up my own
definitions leads only to embarrassment – a despot is not served for pudding, Dada
is not mama’s partner, a filigree is not an accommodating horse.
Several
discoveries have emerged from my rehabilitation from crimes against language;
the first is a realisation that there are literally words for everything. That
may sound like an obvious thing to say, but now I am committed to learning the
meaning of every single word in the English language, I am convinced that many
words are surplus to requirement. Interlocutor: a person having a conversation.
Do we really need that one? Sonorous? I have given this word so many different
meanings over the years and now I discover that all it means is deep and full.
Call me old fashioned, but we already have two words for that: one is deep and
the other is full. Lubricious (nothing to do with the joy of Durex Play): the
simple definition of this is lewd. What I’m realising is that I should be in
charge of giving words their definitions. I would be so much better at it than
the joker who decided that a wonderful word like nebulous, a jewel of the OED –
neberendingfabulousness – should simply mean vague.
But it’s not all
doom and gloom, or cataclysm and monochrome (which actually means disaster and
black and white, but let’s not Serra (Greek dance) with semantics). I love
words; of course I love words. I have always loved words; I work with words; I
would eat them for dinner if I could. So you won’t be surprised to find that as
I worked through my blind spots I uncovered more than the odd word that made me
smile. And so was born my top ten words found down the back of the sofa. I
suppose I only figurative found them down the back of the sofa (or I literally found them down the back of
the sofa if you’re a young person gamely determined to use the word ‘literally’
in literally every sentence and hang the consequences – I literally salute
you). Enjoy …
Ten
Assuage
I include this on
my list not for its meaning but because I don’t think I have ever heard it
spoken, although fiction writers seem to love it. Desires and unpleasant
feelings are always being assuaged, but I’m still not sure I know how the word
would feel in my mouth should I need to get my assuage on.
Nine
Patina
We’re just
warming up, so another fairly straightforward word, but this one seemed to appear
from nowhere one day. I simply hadn’t heard of it, but then it was in every single
book I read. Isn’t it strange when you learn something and then it’s suddenly
everywhere although you’ve never heard of it before? It’s as if the world gave
birth to it at the exact moment I discovered it. Patina: the green film found
on bronze.
Eight
Lepidopterist
Now we’re cooking
with gas! A student of butterflies and moths.
Seven
Costive
What can I say?
I’m a childish girl-woman. This word isn’t an adjective relating to a popular
coffee house chain, or a projection you would find on an accountant’s
spreadsheet; it simply refers to something that causes constipation. Ha! It’s
such a benign- and innocuous-looking word … and I thought I had heard of all
the toilet-related words that existed.
Six
Frugivorous
Just look at it!
It’s ugly but beautiful at the same time; awkward but self-contained; harsh,
almost violent and then peaceful in the last few syllables. The shape of this
word tells a thousand stories and takes the tongue on journeys previously
untraveled. And its meaning? Fruit-eating.
Five
Xanthochroid
This is included
because I previously only knew the words xenon, xenophobia, Xerox, Xmas, X-ray
and xylophone beginning with X. But X has far more to deliver than this:
xenogamy, xenoglossia, xenopus, etc., etc. I feel as if I have never lived when
I look at these words. My number five simply describes a person with light hair
and a fair complexion.
Four
Fecundity
If assuage was
chosen because I didn’t quite know how it would feel in my mouth, I have chosen
fecundity for the exact opposite reason. I know how it feels and it’s
positively filthy. Say it out loud, savour the syllables – fe-cun-di-ty. How
isn’t this a sexually explicit swear word? Disappointingly, it simply means
fertility (for which we already have a word, which is fertility!)
Three
Skeuomorph.
This is a
physical object or design which is made to resemble another material. That
sounded quite complicated when I looked it up, but it’s really simple. For
example, when you use an app that’s designed to look like something that exists
in the real world (a computer keypad, a bookshelf, pages of a notepad), this is
skeuomorphic. I’m not sure why this word appeals. It just does; perhaps because
I only discovered it a few nights ago and it still has that fresh and exciting
glow.
Two
Defenestration
Proving conclusively
that there is a word for absolutely everything, this simply means to throw
someone or something out of a window. I love that it is clean, succinct and
specific. This word can do no wrong in my eyes.
And at Number One
Moribund
This word
absolutely stole the show for me for its awkward and unusual positioning in the
sentence; the very knowledge that this word exists makes me smile most days. It
is an adjective meaning ‘at the point of death’. So, for example, a
slaughterhouse din might be a cacophony of moribund squeals. A man with his
head in a guillotine might have moribund thoughts of a better life where his
head hasn’t ended up in a guillotine. Love it!
For more articles on writing, check out the Whoosh Editing website.
Friendly, professional and affordable services and support for authors - copy-editing, manuscript assessments, synopsis writing, ghost writing.
